18 Mar Is Your Relationship in Crisis? 5 Keys to Talking to Kids About It
Navigating a relationship crisis is challenging, especially when children are involved. The dilemma arises: should we keep them out of it to protect them, or should we include them to help them understand? Is it better to shield them from adult problems, or are there moments when it’s necessary to share?
The best approach is open communication. While it’s important to avoid unnecessary details, offering reassuring and honest messages is crucial. Children and adolescents need clear contexts, and silence often creates more confusion than clarity. When we don’t share what’s happening, kids may fill in the gaps with their own interpretations, which can be more distressing than the reality itself, even more so than a potential separation.
A relationship crisis is also an opportunity to make decisions: whether to work on the relationship or part ways. What matters most is showing them that we are actively addressing the issue. Seeing adults confront conflict and seek solutions teaches children that problems can be faced respectfully and that enduring relational distress should not be normalized.
5 Keys to Communicate a Crisis to Kids:
Reassure them: Kids need to know that, no matter what happens between the adults, they will continue to be cared for as part of the team.
Avoid passivity: Unresolved or ignored crises send a confusing message. When parents acknowledge the issue and take action, they show that problems shouldn’t be left unresolved.
Challenge stereotypes about crises: Relationship struggles are not failures. Teaching kids that crises are part of life and can be faced with honesty and care equips them to build healthy relationships in the future.
Protect them from conflict, not the truth: It’s not about making them witnesses to the crisis, but providing enough information to reduce uncertainty.
Ensure continued care: Regardless of the relationship’s outcome, it’s essential that children feel secure in the care they receive. Whether together or apart, adults must provide a loving and safe environment for their children.
