25 Mar Taking a 5-Minute Break Can Reduce Couple Disputes
Why is it so important to take a 5-minute pause during a disagreement? As an expert explains, when emotions run high and aren’t managed, they cloud our ability to communicate effectively, making it hard to express ourselves clearly.
“Instead of articulating what really concerns us, we are more likely to react impulsively,” the expert says. “This impulsivity often leads to saying things that don’t reflect our true feelings and can hurt our partner.” Taking a break reduces the chances of leaving a negative impact with our words, allowing us to listen better and be heard.
But is a pause enough? The expert highlights that it’s not just about taking a break to avoid conflict. It’s about using that time to prepare for a more conscious, calm conversation. “Avoidance is a coping strategy that never works, because the problem remains unresolved and may even grow,” the expert points out. Pauses aren’t for evading problems, but rather a tool to handle them better.
Crucial issues in a relationship must be addressed, but it’s essential to do so at the right moment, when both partners are ready to talk calmly—not out of anger or pain. Non-verbal communication—our gestures, facial expressions, and tone—also plays a key role in how we convey our message. In tense discussions, our body language and tone often reflect the discomfort, escalating the conflict. A pause helps us choose how to present ourselves to our partner with care.
A break helps refocus our energy, leading to a calmer, more thoughtful conversation that fosters better understanding between both. “It’s important to understand that a pause isn’t the end of the conversation, but a step that can improve communication,” the expert emphasizes. “The goal is not to silence problems, but to find the best moment and emotional state to address them.”
Often, relationship issues can’t be resolved in a single exchange. A pause is valuable not only for calming immediate emotions but also for reflecting on the deeper root of disagreements. Differences may stem from unspoken needs or unmet expectations, and it’s crucial for each partner to identify these feelings before resuming the conversation.
By adopting this practice, couples can address surface-level issues and dig deeper into the heart of conflicts, leading to greater understanding and growth in the relationship. This process strengthens the partnership and provides new tools for handling future challenges.
“Learning to take a 5-minute pause can make the difference between a constructive conversation and a destructive argument. But beyond the pause, the key is the commitment to address underlying issues. Conscious, respectful communication—both verbal and non-verbal—allows both partners to express themselves and understand one another, ultimately strengthening the relationship in the long run,” concludes the expert.
