13 Ago Why Love Languages Lie, According to Science
For over three decades, the concept of the five love languages has circulated in popular psychology, presenting a sort of “manual” for understanding and expressing love, especially in romantic relationships. But do only five forms of love exist? And on what types of couples were these languages identified?
The 5 “languages” or forms of expressing love are:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Gift-giving
Acts of service
Physical touch
The Response from Scientific Researchers
Various scientists from the University of Toronto Mississauga have questioned the “languages,” emphasizing “the lack of precision and solid empirical backing,” especially in addressing how relationships function.
From the expert team at the university, it’s indicated that the theory has limitations in how these languages are defined and chosen. “Even if it were true that the five proposed love languages represent somewhat separable constructs, it is important to consider that they may not encompass all significant ways in which people express and feel love,” the expert points out.
In an article published, they note a “public obsession with love languages,” where people opt for one of these five pre-established forms without considering that the theory was developed based on work with traditional white, religious, and mixed-gender couples.
“People determine their primary love language by taking the questionnaire, which forces them to select the expressions of love they find most meaningful. It could be choosing between receiving gifts or holding hands, for example. These are exchanges we don’t have to make in real life. In fact, people report finding all things described by love languages incredibly important in a relationship,” detailed the research director.
Instead, they propose an alternative to understand how couples express love through the so-called “healthy diet,” considered a more realistic view of sexual-affective relationships.
In conclusion, attempting to define the ways of giving and receiving love as a “thermometer” in a relationship based on the five types of love languages proposed would be insufficient (and limiting) to understand the depth and diversity of ways in which love can be expressed in current romantic relationships.
